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3/2/2015 1:02 PM grooming • 0 Comments

When to DTR (Define the Relationship)

There’s that dreaded moment in a relationship when everything is going really well and someone decides to ruin it all by initiating the talk.

 

“So what exactly are we?”

 

This could mean a make or break moment – and I don’t want you to blow it. Whether you are ready for a commitment or ready to see it fade away, it’s important to understand that women need the whole truth, nothing but the truth, so help them God. 

 

Don’t be the guy who holds in his feelings, or the guy who hangs on to a chick just for the late night “I think I like her” moments. 

 

If you ever want a lasting, fulfilling relationship you have to communicate and be ready for when it’s time to DTR.

 

Wondering if you’re ready to DTR? Check the 9 signs below.

 

1. When you spend more time together than apart.


When you go beyond hung-over brunch and start making real plans, in the middle of the afternoon, days in advance, chances are you’ve got a proper relationship brewing. This is when you become a “we” and the sex isn’t the only thing between you.

 

2. When they’re the first person you text.


Maybe you’ve had a good day, or a bad one. Maybe you’ve got some big news. Maybe you saw something that reminded you of them. Or maybe you just wanted to say hi. No matter the situation, whenever you reach for your phone, they’re the first person you text to fill in on the details of your life.

 

3. When you call each other gushy pet names.


Just because you don’t know what a “bae” is doesn’t mean you don’t have one. When you forgo your lover’s legal name for “honey,” “baby,” “sweetie,” “boo,” “muffin,” or any other nickname suitable for an animated forest creature, you’ve got it bad.

 

4. When you can’t sleep alone.


You've gotten used to having them next to you every night. Your spooning routine is set. They don’t mind you sleeping with socks on and you don’t mind their snoring. Miraculously, you don’t mind each other’s morning breath. On the rare night when they’re gone, something’s clearly missing. Sleep just doesn’t come as easily without them.

 

5. When you can’t help getting jealous.


Maybe some guy comments on their latest Instagram post. It’s probably something harmless. He might even be a cousin. But you can’t stop wondering what is his real intentions are. You might trust your partner but it’s the millions of guys out there lusting after them you can’t trust. The only cure for this is finally putting a label on things.

 

6. When you mix friend groups.


It’s not just “my friends” and “your friends,” it becomes “our friends.” These are the people you brunch with, have over for dinner parties, and take vacations with. These are the people who would be devastated if you ever ended things, who would have no idea whose “side” to take.

 

7. When you’ve survived your first argument.


A fight, over the littlest thing, can mean the end of things. But if you and your lover have gotten into an argument and you’ve walked a way, decided they’re worth coming back for, and resolved the issue, that’s the sign of a committed, mature relationship.

 

8. When you can see a future with them.


We’re not talking 3.5 kids and a white picket fence – although that is a great sign. Isn’t the point of this all maybe, eventually finding someone to settle down with? But the future might just be as simple as travel plans a few months down the line. Either way, when you look towards tomorrow and they’re a part of it, chances are you’ve got something real on your hands.  

 

9. When you just don’t want to be with anyone else.


This is the simplest sign. If you don’t want to be with any of the other 7 billion people on earth, not even Kate Upton, and you don’t want them to be with anyone else, it’s time to step up and make things official.


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