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8/19/2014 12:52 PM grooming • 0 Comments

Tea Is For Tough Guys



noun: tea-time

1. The customary time for tea in the late afternoon in which women dress in their Sunday finest and sit on the front porch gossiping about the townspeople and slowly nibbling on perfectly cut triangular finger sandwiches, crust free bitches.

Tea drinkers are not usually identified as rough and tough hyper masculine individuals. Like compared to the shot in the dark red-eyed coffee drinkers. But I know a few tea drinkers that you would definitely think twice before poking fun at their drink of choice. Throw away your images of dandy gentleman in long coats and top hats with their pinkies pointed outwards, these tough guys are protective of their (tea) buds.

Growing up in a Persian culture around men who drank tea all damn day, you would not dare slam my father or my uncles for being tea drinkers.  They all drank a Persian tea known as “Cha’ee.” When made the right way it is like a combination of red bull and speed. Shit gives you wings. The thing is, it’s a good alternative to coffee and actually boasts some health benefits. Not to mention it’s actually a smooth ride that doesn’t make you feel tweaked out. Good thing because Cha'ee accompanies every meal and is used to create bonds of personal and business relationships.

I didn’t believe in tea for the longest time. I didn’t grow up drinking tea and I had my first shot of espresso when I was 12, as my mom battled against me playing hooky from school. Every morning until a few months ago, it would be the first thing I would go for, espresso and almond milk. After battling the stomachaches and the racing heart for far too long, I decided to quit cold turkey. The first 10 days I thought, ‘wow this is what a heroin addict must feel like.’ Since coming off the coffee, I feel less fluctuation with my energy levels. I also feel like I have less mood swings and just feel clearer overall. It was the best decision I have made.

When it comes to tea, there are so many different blends of tea, each flavor unique to the part of the world they come from. With boosted benefits some teas like Tulsi (holy basil) actually chills you the fuck out so you can calm down in the evening time before bed. Others have licorice root and slippery elm to relieve cough and cold symptoms. Look around and experiment with the flavors that you enjoy. You can actually find some dark roasted Japanese teas that get closer to the richness of coffee.

Listen up tough guy, if you’re going to sweeten your tea I highly suggest using a quality honey. If you’re making the transition from coffee this is an excellent time to go ahead and work on cutting out the fake sugar bullshit. Honeys are so unique to the area and carry the particular scents of the wildflowers in which they come from.

While you probably won't be drinking tea at the poker table or the gun range, tea is still a drink for the guys. As you set forth new lifestyle habits for the warmer months and begin detoxing, why not raise a glass of tea?